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He knows who he is!]He'd been chatting with Dennis, an older black guy, for a week before making arrangements to meet him face to face, and as Robert got ready to leave his parents house, he felt that butterfly sensation in the pit of his stomach that was the expression of both nervousness, as well as excited anticipation. The feeling was similar to the time when Robert, as a young boy, did his first-ever dive off a diving board; with that growing sense of uncertainty, and yet excitement, as he stood, for just a second or so in hesitation at the end of the long, springy board.He'd eventually jumped---and that exhilarating blend of (momentary) panic, as gravity took over, and fear of the possible negative outcome, when combined like that in those fleeting seconds before impacting the water below, had resulted in an erection as Robert surfaced, puffing and gasping for fresh air!He was feeling the same way now as he headed to meet Dennis!Where Robert was of slender (but not feminine). “Afraid of what.”“Of losing you, Claire.”“Why would you lose me?”“Because if I do as you ask and spell it out, then I’m afraid I’ll lose you and Neil.”I knew what he was driving at, but I was like a dog with a bone and wouldn’t let go until it was all out in the open, for good or bad.“You talked to Delores about having a baby with me?”Jason looked at me as if deciding what to say next. Fight or flight?“What’s so wrong with that, Claire. It’s what people who are in love do, isn’t it? It’s what you and Neil did?”“But that was different. We were young and married to each other. Now I’m in my forties, and in case you haven’t noticed, I’m married to Neil.”“Women in their forties have children all of the time. My mother had Delores and Leon when she was your age. And these days people have babies out of marriage all of the time.”I looked at him, totally exasperated, unable to make him see how crazy what he was suggesting was. Just as I thought I might explode, he backed off, his mood.
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